Tuesday, July 05, 2005
101 office/social etiquette
knock knock...
gosh... i forgot wat i wanted to write about... uurrggghhhh... my brain cells dun hv enuff nutrients... true ok! dun laff... they say ppl with malnutrition will hv brown hair. look at my hair! seriously malnourished man! someone feed me!!!!
anyway, gonna play badminton tmr. hope it doesnt do any damage to my recovering eyes. i can't wait to ditch my specs... must start saving for my lasik treatment. or shall i hint boss to give me fat bonus... kekeke... haizz... today he was in an ultra gloomy mood. shant say y... corporate secret... but tough on him man. to hv 2 pretend all's well still in front of pats. applaud boss!
alrite... enuff of crap. today i shall b really serious n impart some solid knowledge on office/social etiquette. thanks to someone who reminded me dat some rules dun apply ax the board. so, let's state the obvious... we shall go slow yea? today it's
office/social etiquette lessons 1-10...lesson 1... even if the workstation is obviously yours... obvious in these ways : u sit there most of the time, ur superior asks to use the workstation, ur (ex)colleague asks u if she is permitted to eat there, ur tigger n piglet sit on the speakers, ur stack of namecards sit on the table n u hv an in-tray there. yea, u gotta save sensitive data in a disc too. if u dun want any1 snooping around. even if the workstation is obviously no one else's
lesson 2...never deny an error immediately. it jux means dat u dun reflect n jux wanna get out of trouble at the very first instance. always take time to consider dat it may really hv been ur mistake afterall.
lesson 3...dun claim dat u've forgotten bout snooping around when u rem to delete ur tracks on the computer.
lesson 4... continuation from lesson 3, when clearing ur tracks, do a thorough job. dun leave evidence in the recycle bin.
lesson 5...when ur superiors confront u, admit it deh! or risk pissing them off further.
lesson 6...admit ur mistake n move on...
lesson 7...dun call up ur excolleagues esp during their working hours n offer them ridiculous conspiracy theories n pretend to offer them advice to leave the job or risk getting axed. when conjuring conspiracy theories, pls get all facts rite...
lesson 8...understand dat u'r axed coz of ur incompetence, not coz u've exceeded the use-by date...
lesson 9...to find out how competent u'r, first, u hv to find out y others hv been granted full-time positions despite working for shorter periods n hv lower IT literacy.
lesson 10... probe only as much as u'r willing to divulge... quit peering at ppl's account balances when u won't even tell dat u've been on a cruise trip...
lesson 11...when u need to see a doc to stop the itch from numerous mozzie bites on the cruise, do not misuse ur (ex)colleague's name to jump queue...
lesson 12...again, dun deny when being asked coz records show dat there was indeed a visit to the doc on dat particular date.
lesson 13...do not implicate ur (ex)colleague by implying dat she's ur spy in the company... to think dat she didnt speak a single word against u
lesson 14...do not begrudge a treat u willingly gave. rem dat u've received much more treats in return.
lesson 15... repent n stop wasting time trying to find out whether any1 said anything bad about u. if anything bad was said, it's coz they were truths. if there was nothing said, den the axe wouldnt hv been on ur neck.
did i go beyond lesson 10??!?!?!? i think i did... couldnt stop when the gun started firing. n the person who needed to look at this most wont even read this! but i enjoyed typing... vented! pphhhhwwwwww... feels good.
10:06 PM
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