Monday, December 25, 2006
knock...
it's the birthday of Jesus once again... emo facter = eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
never felt this way b4... used to like to get away from the hustle n bustle of christmas. to hideout in a foreign land n enjoy a peaceful Christmas... but it felt very good to see the faces of loved ones on 23rd dec... to see kenton back from oz... alexis from shanghai... tsu ern from doha... sam tan back from his myanmar mission trip... mandy pangseh lah... never come... hahaha... dunno y... but it warmed my heart to see these ppl again after having missed them for a couple of weeks to months... so unlike me...
den while sitting at the dining table for a christmas dinner with pastor samuel and caroline n uncle james' family and sek hoong & yew moi... it felt so good.... to sit down with a small group of ppl... to listen to them talk bout BB camp & God's goodness... to listen to stories from ages gone by... wonder if it's age or circumstances dat made me so appreciative of these intimate times together...
we were browsing pastor's wide array of books after the sumptous dinner lovingly prepared by caroline... den asked pastor samuel... bout the early days with caroline... how he first started pursuing the relationship with caroline... how things moved more slowly then... n focus was first centred on God first... they didnt rush into the relationship. ppl were more contemplative and thot carefully through things... when surrendering to God was really allowing God to work instead of us telling God wat we wanted things to be like... unlike wat i see now. getting into the relationship first den realising dat the puzzles jux din fit into place den gotta break everything up... so painful...
very reflective christmas for me... as i read the notes dat others wrote. one particular one wrote dat i was a role model. never really see myself as one coz i'm always so full of crap. very touched by dat note. reminded me too dat ppl see me as a servant of God and a leader as well... so i must truly b a light n fragrance that will bring glory to God's name. but i know i fail. God knows as well but He still loves me... the same way dat we love our loved ones who dun meet up to our expectations as well... we all fail so dun shy away from God jux because we can't be the perfect child. instead, let's continue to allow Him to perfect us...
seriously... i think the best gift God has given this Christmas... is the gift of friendship with many around me... really touched by all who'r still standing by... n put up with all my imperfections n love me despite them. thanks folks.
mannnnnnnnnnn... sooooooooooo emo. but from the bottom of my heart. Thank you. for showing me how Jesus loves.
10:27 PM
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