Monday, November 20, 2006
knock...
said bye to my mama no. 2.
both mamas reminded me of my Heavenly Father... through their deaths. weird how certain things only become clearer when we lose it forever...
made me rethink of the things eternal dat we shd b concerned bout... as i sat at the wake and the funeral service... i kept thinking bout the things dat matters... the things dat withstand thr' the yrs... the things with value dat do not fade with death.
only one thing is constant - GOD. the only unshifting n neverchanging one. the one who promises and never fails... i look at the cucus crying. i feel their immense pain coz i was in their position less den 3 yrs ago. i wont say i understand what they'r going thr' but i know how it feels to b in their position... to know what it means to lose someone who loved them in the purest sense... to lose someone who loves without with-holding... i thot about the other loves dat we also cling onto more strongly: the love of our frenz, the love for things... the love for the ppl who doesnt even care enuff... love so temporal...
i tried recalling the things dat mama did dat havent faded thr' the yrs... i rem mama scrimping n saving every little she had to give. i rem her working hard in the kitchen to earn scraps dat would barely pay for my meaningless shopping... these little scraps grew to pay for my varsity fees and travels... i rem her perspiring over the stove to feed tubby me... i rem her chopping away to prep meals at 3am... i rem her chiding a boy and lovingly cleaning a seat for me... for the amt of love she showered, it would hv taken hundreds of lifetime to repay but the time i spent with her was a bare minimum... we spent so much on meaningless things n worthless ppl...
time to take stock.
emo factor = eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
i miss my mama...
8:47 PM
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